Why Being a Stay-At-Home Mom was a Bad Fit - Back History on Me

I played with making this up some time back but it still rings true. Being a working mother (even just a part-timer like myself) is rough and it's even more rough for people who work full-time! Now by no means is this to discredit Stay-At-Home Mom's because I know they work too! But rather this is why being at stay-at-home mom didn't work for me. 

When my first daughter was born my husband and I were newly weds and I was 19 years old! While my friends were out still having fun I was home with our colic baby. I had already heard that the most important year is the first year with a child so I wanted to be there the whole time but I quickly fell into depression and got an internet addiction where I was convinced my only friends were the ones online because no one would visit me so it was just myself and this beautiful little girl that would cry all day and all night. Truthfully my internet addiction started before my daughter's birth though because I was put on 100% bed rest before she was born due to my blood pressure and after the emergency c-section moving around was extremely painful for a long time after (several months in fact). In any case, my husband and I started having huge marriage difficulties that I won't get onto here but really a lot of it sprung from my depression and he didn't know how to deal with me and I was so lost in it the idea of attempting to get out of the house no longer occurred to me and the few times I would get out I'd disappear for a few days. Oh I'd call to check in but it wasn't healthy.

This and that happened and we ended up in Kentucky leaving my family, friends and all that I had known thousands of miles away. I did end up going back to work which truthfully was helpful other than my husband then became hooked into the computer and the damage had already been done to our marriage. This spiraled into a year long divorce before we figured out we were being stupid and called it off. By the way lawyers are an expensive way to go for marriage counseling.

We resumed our life together and things were much better and I started college again. Into my first year of school I got pregnant with our second daughter. We were low income so our oldest child was in Head Start, my husband was going to a private college to get his degree and I told myself I was not going to quit school! I had my youngest daughter into the second year of school, my professor was very understanding for which I was thankful of and at 6 weeks old my youngest child started Early Head Start because I knew if I quit school the chances of me going back again were slim. I did get through it though as rough as it was and got my associates degree for Applied Science: Mechanical Drafting and graduated with honors earning my gold cord. 

After school though was a different matter finding work can be a very hard thing so I was again a Stay-At-Home mom. I spent 8 hours a day cleaning thinking that for every hour my husband was at work I needed to be at work (he graduated with honors too). Everything was constantly dusted, every toy had it's place, I would shampoo the carpets constantly (by the way this isn't good for them). I found myself going into a rut once again and spending hours upon hours just cleaning and filling out applications. No friends and this time no family. 

*I guess I better wrap this up getting late and I must get to work*
I did eventually find a job that was flexible enough to let me still take care of my family but forces me out of the house no matter how much I complain about it. It is a better fit and I'm a much happier person working that I would be if didn't have a job. I may want a nice LONG vacation right now but I'd never want to fully stop working. I think I'd drive myself a tad bit crazy.

Working works for me. I hope everyone can find the path best suited to them. 

DIY: Dishwasher Detergent

So as I've mentioned in previous blogs I have really wanting to make my own dishwasher detergent. I am still feeling very blessed to have this portable dishwasher even if it is a bear to push to it's spot before and after a load of dishes (I went many years without a dishwasher). While dish detergent wasn't overly expensive because I always went with the generic I thought the same thing about laundry detergent and boy I was wrong there too.
Now I expect to be experimenting and tweaking this recipe as the time comes for me to make more. I have done 5 loads of dishes since making this mix back on Thursday and taking lots of notes and having test glasses that was holding up to the light and trying to do everything very scientific only changing one thing during each test. Probably too much effort right? Well it's kind of fun to try and figure these things out.

Now here's what my current mix is:
1 Cup Borax
1 Cup Washing Soap
1/4 Cup Table Salt
3 packets of sugarless lemonade
1 Cup Baking Soda

Mix.

Yours will look more full this is before baking soda.

Use 1 TBSP in the pre-wash and 1 TBSP in the main wash dispenser. Vinegar for the rinse cycle.

Pretty simple right? Well I want to go over some of my findings and then I will go over some of the tweaks I will be testing at a future date.

The first recipe I pulled up suggested everything except the baking soda and suggested Kosher Salt instead of table salt. Well I was working with what I had and Rural King didn't have Kosher Salt at a reasonable price (and seeing how I just got off of work when I went shopping I wasn't about to make another stop). I worked with what I had.
While the dishes did come out clean I hadn't thought of having text glasses so I had to redo this wash as my 5th wash.

So for the second trial to try and get rid of the fog effect I put the 1 TBSP of soap into each place and the vinegar rinse agent (this is the constant for each trial) and now for the change; 1 tsp normal baking soda added to each cup (this works out to about 1 cup per batch I estimate). Glass had a slight fog I had originally thought but after comparison not so much as I originally believed.

I put 1/2 cup of vinegar into the bottom of the washer. The glasses were a bit less foggy but they had lots of water spots. No film on the plastic utensils which was a good thing even my commercially bought cleaner would leave a film on them. I also noticed though that the glass seemed to pick up finger prints extra easy.

Now I mentioned I made this batch on Thursday. By Friday the mix had started clumping together! Another one of those problems I read about and not only that but was firmly affixed to the sides of my jar! I had to break it off and mix it all back up. After this I took some rice (I used instant rice because that is what I had in my house) and cheese cloth (because cheese cloth is awesome stuff) and used twine (always keep twine on hand) and poof I made something to help absorb moisture. I haven't had a big problem with clumping since then.

For the fourth trial I did the standard soap and rinse and then added 1 tsp extra of washing soda into each dish. I was highly unhappy with these dishes and ended up hand washing many of them after this. It was a total no go!

For my fifth try I went back and tried the standard soap with vinegar rinse not adding or subtracting anything. I found the glasses to be foggy. I also noticed because we used more oil than a human should consume in a year (Fried ham in bacon fat and pain fried hashbrown patties) that the areas that had heavy oil when I put them in came away with a white film! And plates I had drained grease on also were not very clean. I'm not sure if this would be the same results with the baking soda but if it is one or two drops of dawn probably would help cut the grease or pre-rinse greasy items.

Over all the dishes with the baking soda seemed to win so that's why I added it in there.

My next experiments will be 1. cutting down on the amount of soap used per wash and 2. when this batch is gone I want to try a very small batch of just baking soda and borax to see how that does. I'm starting to wonder after my washing soda experiment if the washing soda isn't being given enough credit to how foggy dishes are coming out. 3. I may break down and buy some kosher salt just to try it.

As for my mix the cost estimate works out to be (Very rough estimate on the baking soda and salt I'm sure you can find cheeper):
$0.37 Borax
$0.36 Washing Soda
$0.44 Baking Soda
$0.31 Salt
$0.51 Lemonade Packets
= $1.99 For Approx 26 loads if you have to use 2 TBSP per load. Like I said I'm going to try and experiment with 1 TBSP and see how it does for us. 26 loads that cost sounds a little steep but if it's 52 loads then it's worth it in my mind.

**Update: I've started using 1 TBSP with a vinegar rinse. I have about the same cleaning ability but still foggy. I will be messing with this mix some more but I get the distinct feeling this very common problem may be the bane of my existence so the mix would work in a pinch (either money wise or not wanting to go out to the store wise). I'll keep working on it though.

A Blog Just Because?

I'm normally blogging by now and especially over a 4 day weekend! I normally have craft pictures to show and a few stories to tell but truthfully I've snapped 1 picture this whole weekend and that was on Thursday really.

Teaser Photo for Dishwasher Powder

I'm in the process of working with DIY Dishwasher powder but I'm trying several different suggestions on how to alter the original recipe and it seems along the way I've ran into several of the same problems other people have. Foggy glass, the powder hardening, etc. (Correction I took 3 or 4 pictures because I got inventive with cheese cloth during the process.) So I've been taking lots of notes and 2 or 3 more loads of dishes I should have something to say. I get the feeling though this won't be the end of the experimentation.

Thursday was Valentine's day and our oldest was at a fundraising event until midnight so pretty much last second I through the idea of spaghetti out the window and by my youngest daughter's request we went to Subway. I was happy not to have a bunch of dishes to do.

Friday, I was babysitting my friend's little girl. We've been doing this trading off thing where for snow days or holidays we've been trading back and forth and it's been wonderful. The girls get to play and we know our children are in safe environments. Friday they played tag and hide and go seek nearly all day. Girls were giggling and running around in circles (since if you open all the doors in 90% of the house it'll eventually make a complete circle) and while we had a few little spats of pouting it was all very good.... for them. I tried to sit down with my knitting but it just was not happening apparently.

Saturday, I took the kids shopping for a present for one of the little girls we're friends with the family with. She turned 2 and I was worried about not being able to find much or getting the same things as everyone else but looks like we lucked out. We then went over to the birthday party. More giggling and fun for the kids while the noise was starting to stress me for no really good reason. Just a lot of people in the house since it was so cold outside.

Peter was up at his mother's house Saturday, since early in the morning helping clear out her house out there since they may have finally gotten a buyer for the house. His parent's haven't lived in this area for some years now. In the process of all this we got a dresser and it's a very nice dresser that we are going to give to the children but the only problem is that I'm telling Peter not to get rid of the old dresser for the kids because eventually we are going to separate them into two rooms. Brielle's 12 and 1/2 it's not going to be long until she doesn't want her little sister constantly around.  Though it is tempting to just get rid of it since it isn't in the best of conditions but buying furniture again... the idea makes me cringe. Thankfully 80% of the furniture we have is from auctions or items his mother was getting rid of because she does a lot of auctions. We've bought a few pieces new and it always makes me cringe.

Today is Sunday and have I mentioned my menu has already been messed up? Remember that company Friday? Well Pizza Saturday got moved to Friday, Saturday his parents said they wanted us to go out to eat (there goes my budget) so we met up at Penn Station. (Thank goodness for Penn Station because first they said Olive Garden and then they said Red Lobster! After having those two restaurant freak me out about the budget then Penn Station didn't sound too bad!) So the ham I defrosted for Friday is now going to be cooked here on Sunday and by golly I will not stand for any more interruptions of my menu plan!

Anyways back to today. We've had to kick the children to clean so we can move their dresser into the playroom, move the new dresser into the bedroom, change around all the clothes and oy. Day off? Please? I guess I'm getting my time off right now with my coffee.

So I promise some better postings and pictures later on but this weekend it seems even though I have time off that I'm always in between one annoyance and another. Hope everyone else is having a bit better weekend!

Knitting Woes

First I'd like to Welcome my new nephew, Nikola Orrin to the family! 

Nikola was born to my brother-in-law and sister-in-law on February 12th. 

Now I mentioned I picked up my knitting again one reason is because I wanted to knit my new nephew a hat. Well here's the problem with that. I had never knitted in the round before! They wanted to start it with smaller needles than I had so I just thought, "I'll decrease the pattern." Well even if I hadn't decreased it I think I would have had a problem! It's a baby yamaka! It's just not tall enough! Over all I'm very disappointed with my handy work because of this. I think for my first time knitting in the round and my first time doing decreases that I actually did quite good I just wish the hat was the right size. I'll have to try again and my poor hands are screaming at me not to. While knitting in the round isn't especially hard it is very awkward. 

Well I have a four day weekend after I get through today because the kids are off Friday and Monday so perhaps I'll start another hat. I'll be babysitting Friday though so we'll have to see. Today I get to come home and clean house because things fell apart around here pretty badly. 

Here's my Baby Yamaka. I hope it gives you a good laugh for today. (Do you notice the ribbing on the bottom! I think I did the purl stitch right for once too! Horray!)

2/11/13-3/03/13 Menu

One Months Half a Month's Menu
So I've been reading a lot of blogs that list their menu for the week. I ways thought it was a bit silly when I first was doing that but now that I see other people's I guess I can try posting mine. Though we eat a lot of processed foods sadly. Either they are cheaper than fresh or just 10x easier.
(And yes I'm just filling the gap of time for the water to boil so I can finish dinner since the dishwasher and clothes washer are already going.)

Because I'm trying to reign in the budget I pretty much planned and bought for the month. I know it sounds weird but when I go to the grocery store if I only have a couple items in my cart it feels wrong and I'm more likely to impulse buy.

2/11 - (was suppose to be tacos but we had a flub up on Sunday) So Banquet Turkey & Gravy
          Mashed Potatoes
          Corn

2/12 - Cheesy Chicken

2/13 - Meatloaf
          Mashed Potatoes & Gravy
         Corn?  (I really don't like this idea but my husband is what decided Monday's meal and my head was hurting so bad I couldn't tell him any different because he was cooking and I was taking a lot of pain killers.)

2/14 - Parmesan Chicken (OnCor) -- Subject to change since the oldest child will be at a fundraiser event.
          Spaghetti

2/15 - Fried Ham
          Biscuits
          Hashbrowns
          Eggs

2/16 - Pizza

2/17 - Chicken (garlic/butter & various seasonings)
           Pasta
           Peas

2/18 - Hamburger Helper
           Green Beans

2/19 - BBQ Pulled Pork
          Chips

2/20 - Spaghetti with Meatballs

2/21 - Pot Roast (Hormel)
           Mashed Potatoes & Gravy
          Corn

2/22 - Chicken Nuggets
          French Fries

2/23 - Pizza

2/24 - Sloppy Joes
           Chips

2/25 - Breaded Pork
          Mashed Potatoes w/ Pan gravy
          Peas

2/26 Grilled Cheese
        Tomato Soup

2/27 - Hamburger Helper
           Green Beans

2/28 - Lasagna (Stoffers)

3/1 - Turkey Bake (Banquet)
         Mashed Potatoes
         Corn

3/2 - Pizza

3/3 - Chicken
         Rice
         Vegetable Stir fry

As you can see... I live up to my "The best food comes from a box" idea. I can't wait for summer though so we can throw grilling into our menu!

A few other things done this past week... and insight into next

So my blogging has actually been pretty sporadic compared to how I normally try to get things up and for the most part in order. Well a few things kind of fell through the cracks for with the family has been up to (Okay myself with the girls because I don't think you want to see my husband in his undergarments playing video games.... it's like living with a teenage boy).

Finished a Goal
I was able to finish one of my goals this year which was to read one book. Yes, I know I didn't set the bar very high but I wanted to see it done (though shhh don't tell anyone I was reading at work too, only reason it got done this fast).

Zen and the Art of Knitting by Bernadette Murphy. Think of this book like a short story book about knitters. It talks about people's opinions about knitting and any spiritual or meditation qualities that knitting seems to have for these people. It talks about their hardships and trials while really focusing in where knitting fell in with their lives. Even if you're not a knitter there are some good lessons to be learned and some things that really make you think. While I do not agree with all of this book and a few parts grated on my nerves because it seemed the author was too blown away to realize the story should move forward a bit; I still recommend this book.
My own knitting is kind of sad. I tried to do the purl stitch when I made my scarf and it turns out because I didn't know what I was looking for and I didn't twist the yarn correctly all I got was a plain knit stitched scarf. Don't get me wrong I'm still proud of myself but now I want to try and move past that. I decided that just complaining about knitting and doing nothing about it wasn't doing me any good. I went to Big Lots and got some bright pink (pictured) and some nice blue yarn and then some baby blue yarn. I wanted to make my soon-to-be new nephew (My sister-in-law is due very soon) a baby hat but I lost my circular needles and I haven't decided what to make out of this other yarn (pink and dark blue) I think I might be going with a scarf again but try out different stitches. In this thought process of I need to do something and not just complain I went down to Hobby Lobby and bought a book about knitting to help me understand different stitches.

Candles Day 2

 The day after candle day the other week I also let the girls make their own candles. Katherine was determined to use my mold that really is more suited for the trash can by this point but she still loves her candle. Brielle's turned out very festive for this season. My mother had asked me what that machine is that I have the girls pictured with. Well it's a candle maker. You unlock the top and put the wax, scent and color up there and then it has a valve that you can safely turn to start and stop the wax pouring into the mold. I prefer to use this with the kids because I can be a little less hands on. I still hover but I don't have to be as worried about them burning themselves or dropping/spilling anything. As many candles as we make it was worth the investment for us.

Valentine Cookies
So finally we get to this Sunday. Did I mention that this past weekend I was horribly lazy after a very nasty fall last week while I was fixing the plastic on the greenhouse because we had a 70 degree day! Well I was lazy but around 4 o'clock I decided that if I didn't make the cookies with the girls now then they weren't going to get made. So I made up some spritz cookies and added red food color so they turned out pink.

This Week
So now we are into this week. It's going to be a bit of a busy week. I go into work today. (I know working on a Monday! Ugh! Thankfully I don't have to do it often.) And because I'm working today it means I get to fit my grocery shopping in after the work day... not so fun seeing how my shopping list isn't quite complete yet. I don't need much because I bought the majority of stuff for the month but I need very odd things that I don't always buy. The reason I'm going into work is because Friday the kids don't have school so I need to be able to cover that day and it sounds like I might be babysitting as another friend of mine didn't even realize that this next weekend was a 4-day weekend. Which I'm completely fine with. It's great to be able to trade off watch each other's kiddos.
The middle of this week Brielle was suppose to have a Jr. Beta meeting getting ready for the big convention coming up at the end of the month but both girls have a dental appointment. I tried to reschedule it but they told me I couldn't get a new appointment until near the middle of summer! So the girls may not like it but they ARE getting home/getting picked up early.
I have several things going on this week at work and it sounds like a lot of meetings so I'm not looking forward to it. In fact, I'm dreading it. So I expect to be completely burnt out this week so dinners are going to be pretty simple and Crock pot Tuesday will be Cheesy Chicken again.
I guess I better finish up this coffee, kiss my husband out the door and go get ready for work myself.

Also, just a little photo update of my sprouts. Now if I could just figure out why the broccoli grew so high then fell over... weird.

Valentine's Day at the Garden

Today we went to the Botanical Garden and while it was a bit chilly to walk around outside, so we didn't, our main objective was the annual Bee Mine Valentine's Day craft event. This is a relatively new event the Western Kentucky Botanical Garden has started but the girls have really enjoyed it every year.

The girls made paper orchid hair clips.  

Then they made simple sucker holders with foam and stickers.

The girls made Bee pictures with stickers and their hands painted.

They each made a card too! Katherine made her card for Peter and myself. Brielle is still tight lipped about her card. Katherine wanted us to read her card right away though.

Katherine's card to us.

After the crafts the kids got hot cocoa and we went to go look at the plants inside. 

Everything was absolutely beautiful and I'm so glad to make sure to get the family out of the house.

We left there and went and met his parents for lunch dipping into our food budget (more than I want to think about so I didn't look at the bill) and then took the kids over to a gaming shop where Brielle picked out an anime book and Katherine got Pokemon cards because she wants to learn how to play. The kids got gifts because they were both on the A/B Honor Roll again and while we may not pay for every grade we do try to make sure to reward them for their hard work and dedication to school. 

We're home now and it looks like my husband has elected it to be nap time. The kids are bundled up because even though it's bright outside it is still cold. We kicked the kids outside though because it's good for them to get some fresh air and just be kids. 

I hope everyone has a great weekend!