Getting the School Swing of Things

It's not just kids that have to get used to the summer break being over but parents too. I'm already stressed out about everything that is going on and starting into our 3rd week of school I still haven't gotten the homework thing figured out.
I've kept my youngest daughter in the After School program because I'm not sure what my work schedule will be like through the year and though I've been getting home in time to catch the bus I can't promise that I can keep that up depending on what lands on my desk at work. Having Katherine in After School also means that when I get home I can start picking up the house and have some time to help Brielle with her homework when she gets home because she has the harder homework but last night was a key example that I'm not in the school swing.
I've been trusting Katherine pretty much about her homework but when she told me for the second day in the row she already had her homework done I decided to ask to see it I wanted to see what they were doing. Well come to find out she didn't quite have half of it done, many things were wrong and she has a spelling test and vocabulary test this Friday and I can already tell she wasn't sure on some of the meanings of the word. What does this mean? That we need to get back into our nightly habit of going over every word and doing pre-tests at home... I guess my evenings of being able to rest after making dinner are gone for awhile.
What also amazes me is they are already pushing to have us sell stuff and truth be told I'm already sick of it. It's a bunch of junk that none of us really want but we buy one or two things just to keep our kids happy but if you buy from one of your kids then you have to buy from the other. It's all a horrible mess that puts more strain on the parents.
So it's time to rework my time schedules and try and get my ducks in a row. Thankfully I've started to use Cozi.com more often so I'm not killing so many trees with my sticky notes and calendars.
I've worked out the menu for the rest of this month but although my groceries have been under budget this month my eating out budget has exploded with various different things. I'm really hoping that next month will be better in control. The sad thing is, is a lot of it I didn't have control over or Peter was suppose to be paid back for but I'm never sure if he is or not so it throws everything out of whack. I'm going to try and make a month's menu for September because I highly doubt to see any big sales that are going to change my mind on the menu.
*crosses fingers* Let's see how this goes because I keep trying to make cut backs in our lives and it seems that something is working against me. The kids have started eating Breakfast at home most days so in truth while it does put more of a strain on my grocery budget it, it is over all cheaper on me. Lunch is still cheaper through the school though because my kids would like more than a peanut butter sandwich every day I'm sure.

Coming to Terms

Coming to Terms: How Much Are Friends Worth?


Sounds like a horrible title doesn't it? I mean "how can you put a price on friends", that's the saying after all. Perhaps it is that we are just guy shy but I'm not sure who other than our friends would blame us for that.

Boils down like this. A friend of ours found bed bugs in their house, bed bugs they thought they had solved half a year ago and who got them from the same location we did. It's not that we want to get rid of our plans but once again we are hearing "we have it under control" and we shutter at the thought of if those bugs get back into our house the cost, stress and time are long lasting.

The truth is I know our friends are, to put it bluntly, poorer than dirt but we've never held that against them and try to include them on things but when you are talking over $2k then stuff gets real. We have started canceling some of our services, been cutting back on our food stock and just planning around exactly what we have and clearing out the cabinets to have a bit of financial relief. We've had a bathroom remodel, then go hit by bed bugs, then had to have our central air system replaced... can't afford to be hit by bed bugs again.

You'd think this was cut and dry but these are our friends and we don't want to just kick them to the curb and it is emotionally tearing Peter and myself apart. The other problem is we just invited their daughter to my daughters sleep over and if we allow the girl to come over then we need to figure out how we are going to handle the situation with as little embarrassment put onto the little girl because it's not her fault what her living conditions are.

In the end I know that my family needs its financial well being and that emergency fund we've been scraping together for years with every little tax return or every little bonus paycheck needs to be rebuilt. Right now if something serious was to happen we couldn't handle it and we would be the ones with our hands out asking for aid and the sad thing is as much aid as we have given it'd be only a couple family members that could give some back.

I like our friends and I'm not trying to say choose your friends by where they are in the world money wise but it does make a difference we are finding out. We were the dirt poor family and we associated with others like us and as we moved up to middle class we tried to take the same friends along but some how this perception that we are 'rich' got started. We are not rich we just are very lucky to have good jobs, both of us work and we budget! Every time the electric bill would spike or we had another expense come up we'd tighten our belts and count every penny but people we are dealing with aren't doing that. I know people that have made in one government tax check what I make working all year long and then they blow it and stick their hands out again. So maybe this concept of how hard it is to save money for emergencies is just beyond their comprehension. I don't know. I still like our friends and that makes this extremely hard.

In the end I will choose my families well being over my friends and I know that but I need to come to terms with it.

Sometimes debt cannot be avoided

My husband and I have never had to sit down and work out a plan to be debt free. The truth is we never tried to be 100% debt free because we came up from being very poor and living on a great deal of government assistance so we took what loans we needed so that we could dig ourselves out of the poverty hole. We took small loans for medical expenses when needed and paid them off as quickly as we could, we took out two auto loans because very quickly both of our cars died but thankfully only after we had started to see the light at the end of the tunnels which was my husband getting a good job. We took a loan out for the house we are living in but we didn't go for the max amount we were being offered back before the housing crash but we worked out what we could afford reasonably and found a house in the school district we wanted. We took a loan out for my education though I went to a community college so we have since paid it off.
I learned to budget at an early age and to pinch every penny but it is true what they say the more you make the more you spend. 10 years ago we could have lived off of $800 a month now we run a nearly $3k/mo. household. What happened to us? We got comfortable. We were still putting money back but not as much as we could have been and we got used to having cable TV, gym memberships and eating out every time we felt too tired to cook. I was shopping deals but I was buying more than we needed and over stocking all the cabinets. We may have been living within our means but it wasn't healthy living and we were barely staying within those means.
With the bed bug treatment, Brielle needing new glasses, a $350 electric bill, school starting back up among other things we got hit bad in our savings. Thank goodness we had some savings but now we have to start the rebuilding process. Also, our air conditioner broke and we were told we would need to replace the outside unit and the inside furnace due to the age of our current set up. My husband decided that instead of limping through on the rest of the summer and then using our furnace (which still functions) until spring to go ahead and bite the bullet and purchase the new central air system. Friday we will be having cable TV turned off, I've held off on purchasing too much food and have worked out the menu for the next few weeks working with what we have on stock so that we just have to buy a minimum amount of stuff. My hope is to keep the grocery budget around $50 a week instead of the $100. The kids have started eating breakfast at home which was their own choice I had already paid up school lunches and breakfasts but it will definitely help stretch that lunch money a bit further.
Sometimes debt can't be avoided but being smart about how you handle that debt is key. We could just keep going how we were and and add another bill and start breaking even but instead we started making cuts to give room for the loan payments plus some extra to start recovering our savings and paying more back on the loan than the minimum payment when can.
Most families are one accident away from financial ruin and I've recently seen a trend where people are trying to be debt free but instead of putting that money away for those unforeseen problems instead they plan a fancy vacation. Debt free is great but if you can put money aside for the problems you don't count on and remember there is good debt and bad debt. Using a credit card to buy Christmas gifts? Bad debt, work within your means and remember it is the thought that counts. Taking a loan for education or needed home repair, good debt but never get a loan for more than you can comfortably afford.

My Skin Has Thickened to Stress

So let's run through this...
Monday was Holiday Camp but the YMCA didn't tell me they moved the camp to another location other than at the YMCA where it is normally at so I drove up and down the road after getting very vague directions for 30 minutes before finding the location. After work I went and got groceries and got my free rental from Redbox and then picked up both of the girls to take them down for their appointments to have their eyes checked. I got Brielle's prescription and the good news her eyes have gotten better and Katherine still has great sight. The girls got into their appointment 30 minutes late because they were so busy at the doctors office. We went to EyeMart because normally we can have the glasses ready the same day but because it was so late and they were so busy the glasses wouldn't be ready until Tuesday. When we got home from EyeMart it came to light that Katherine had left her YMCA bag at the center so by time I got down there everyone had already left and some very nice ladies there tried to find the bag inside for me but they were unable to. Okay well Katherine has another swimsuit. Tuesday morning we were getting ready for Holiday world and I started getting ill Monday night but Tuesday since everyone took off of work and it was the last day of of Summer Break we still went. Getting the bag ready to go to Holiday World Brielle then brings to light that she also left her bag at the Holiday Camp so I had to drive down there to pick up the bags before we could head out to Holiday World. We had a good time though I was pretty out of it and was constantly in fear of losing my stomach but everyone else seemed to really enjoy themselves so it was a good day. We left the park early to go pick up Brielle's glasses and then pick up dinner and get home so the kids could get through showers and I could pack backpacks.
Today my voice is gone, I'm pretty dazed and I took the day off of work. As Peter put it, "You have sick leave for a reason and you sound horrible." I don't like using my sick leave if I can help it because I feel guilty but it is probably best I try to rest. I almost went outside and started working but that kind of defeats staying home sick.

Today we got out to the bus without a problem and the girls were really very excited to start school again.

In other news I am trying to deplug some from Facebook I was posting about too much of my life and apparently some people didn't realize my humor. Also, Peter is turning off cable TV today so we can save money. This past weekend our central air system died and we were told that because of the age of it and due to how it died they could not repair it or replace it in kind so we are having to have a whole new system put in. I'm trying to make some big cuts in our grocery budget, cut out how much we are eating out because it got bad this past month with everything that has been going on. We reused a lot of school supplies that were still in good condition from last year. It is going to take some time to try and rebuild our stability and I have found out that my skin has thickened to all this stress because more than once I said I was going to break and I was so ready to break down and start crying yet the tears haven't come yet. The more I go through the stronger I get I guess. 

Normalcy Recovering

Last Friday we went through the heat treatment on the home and there were some causalities. I had forgotten to take out the plants so I called and asked them to remove the plants but all they grabbed was my parsley and forgot Katherine's cacti so two of them died though one survived so now I'm on a hunt to replace them exactly. The blinds in the kids rooms warped though are still usable but the blinds in my room will have to be replaced and our vertical blinds in the living room warped so we will have to have those replaced. The plants in the front yard near where they brought in the tubes were nearly burnt to a crisp those plants included were my sage, lavender and my mum. I'm waiting to see what happens to those plants and not doing any trimming because it appears about half of each plant was okay so I'm hoping they recover. And we had one picture fall breaking the frame glass but the picture was fine other then being slightly crinkled in a couple places.

Today was pretty much a bust for me. I took the kids to Summer Camp and then got the grocery shopping done and started unpacking a few boxes of the items we could not heat treat (chemicals, make up and medicines mostly) and then had lunch with Peter. Our eat out budget has completely been blown apart with everything going on it was just too much hassle to attempt to cook. I then took a nap expecting about my normal 20 min but slept for 2 hours! Peter said I needed the sleep because we've been so busy over the last couple weeks that no one has rested well. I got the kids this evening and then took them out for new shoes for school which I found out Brielle went up 2 shoe sizes this summer! I had no idea because she never complained about her shoes being tight but I did notice she walked in them funny and they had been torn up pretty good so it was time. I let the girls pick out one new outfit for school they have lots of clothes but going to school in a brand new outfit is always a nice way to start off the school year. When I got home we made breakfast for dinner and the girls decided it was pancakes this time instead of biscuits with gravy. I was able to get the dishes done and clean the stove and almost have caught up on washing the laundry but haven't even attempted folding it all yet as I settled down to a couple shows with Peter.

We had planned a trip to Holiday World next Monday as a way to go have some fun before school started but it looks like it will be moved to next Tuesday instead because I was going through my date planner and realized I had both the girls down for eye exams next Monday.

This Thursday I take both kids down to their registrations at their schools to get schedules and meet their teachers. I'm sure I will be ran ragged because I can't take the day off and the registration times over lap horribly so I'll be running from one place to another with them.

In all this fuss I haven't been able to practice my belly dancing and we will be having our last class of this session and I really liked this routine so I'm sad to see this session end. The sad thing is is that out of 8 classes I was only able to attend 5 of them thankfully though I can save up unused classes and I'll use them for the next session.

In the end I just have to wonder how all these super moms do it with working 40+ hrs a week and here I am working half of that and I still can't seem to find my sanity. I'm going to try and stick with this weeks menu the best I can because we need to cut down on our eating out again and work on eating at home and saving money again.

It is hard to put yourself back in the mind frame of not having much after taking the financial hit that the heat treatment caused us but I know we can pull through it. We have a little savings left so we can rebuild and if push comes to shove we do have a line of credit open that we have never used because we would rather pay with cash up front than worry about high interest rates and a new bill hanging over our heads.

Lately I've been dealing with my van it sounds like I need to get the A/C looked at it again though the last time it cost quite a bit of money so I'm holding off and all this heat has caused the headliner by the windshield to separate from the roof so I've been having to use adhesive spray but it was so hot that even that separated the first time I did it. I'm hoping this time it doesn't come apart again.

Eventually things will get back to normal and I know after the treatment Peter's stress has dropped but I also know I have a lot of work still left to do and once I get caught up it'll be about time to start another project around the house.

Mental Struggle of a Working Mom

I go to a great deal of other blogs for crafting ideas and shopping deals but for those sites that also include articles either by themselves or from readers I'm starting to notice a resounding theme: Well you should have time to do this...
And the 'this' is coming from stay-at-home parents. I'm not saying that stay-at-home parents do absolutely nothing heck during this clean out of the house I found my old chore list with times and days of week that I had when I was a stay-at-home parent and I was doing 8 hours of work on the house every day other than Saturday and Sunday. I used to dedicate 6 hrs a week just in couponing. I'm not saying that stay-at-home parents don't work but I am saying they aren't burdened with the same kind of work. They don't have the demands of those that work around them and then the demands of the household. They don't have to worry about being at their building, seat, or position right on time and work for hours on end for things that don't help the household other than that paycheck once a week or every few weeks depending on your pay schedule.
Now I have been blessed because I do have pretty flexible hours and I only have to work 20 hours a week. But, it is because I am blessed in that manner that the budget, chores, shopping, children and appointments are on my plate. Things are not split up so when a person says, "You should get more sleep" I get annoyed because I would love to get more sleep but then I have to let something else go in my life. I hate it when I hear, "You should exercise more" because I've tried to work it into my schedule and again I have to let things fall.
In the end it comes down to priorities. I always learned that if you want to stay healthy, happy and save money then you need to take care of the things you have. That means trying to keep up with the household which is no easy task. Some people put exercise ahead of the household chores which is fine that is what is best for them. It is the people who do not have a traditional job and then act like the rest of us should have time for spending time with our kids, keeping our house clean, exercising, making home cooked meals every night.... it is those people that have been grating on my nerves.
When I'm at work I think about what I need to do at home and when I'm at home I am consumed with thoughts of work. It's a never ending struggle and I just want to pull my hair out. I just wish people would recognize the struggles of the primary care giver that also works.
Well that was my entire break at work (means I don't get a cigarette which is a good thing because I really need to try and get back to quitting) so back to work with me and I hope I haven't offended too many people.

Fun, Chaos and Embarrassment

The family went on our yearly vacation out to the North Carolina beach this year but before that the chaos had started. Let me first go over the highlights of the good stuff before diving into what has been hell.

 This is the Currituck Lighthouse.
Peter and I love climbing lighthouses and can't wait until the girls get a little bit older and we can have them start climbing them with us. It had its charm to be sure.

Peter and I then went on the short walk and saw deer and other wildlife that live on the outer banks and just generally enjoyed being able to spend some time together.


























On the last day of our trip we took the kids to the Wright Brothers National Museum and I wish I would have thought of going there sooner because there are always so many Ranger led activities. Anytime to plan to make a trip near a National Park find out what they are offering for the kids!

Both of the children became honorary Park Rangers and took an oath. There was a lot of hard questions we had to go around the Museum and even all the way up to the monument on a very hot day. It was worth it though but we we were all grateful for the water fountain after.

To wrap up our trip Peter and I left the kids with the grandparents and took a night walk on the beach and then up onto the pier and sat down and just looked out into the pure blackness that was the sea and the sky though there was no telling which one was which. 

We spent every day down on the beach for some amount of time as I had made that my goal this year. This is a picture with my kids and my nephew and niece who I also took down with us one day. 

We also went down to the beach to watch the fireworks for the 4th of July although parking was horrible and we drove up and down the street trying to find a spot and ended up in an old shut down restaurant parking lot about half a mile away from where we dropped everyone off the show was definitely worth it. 

That was our summer vacation for 2012. 

What did we leave before we went on vacation... oh well that's where things get messy. 

I had floor damage in my bathroom so we decided to remodel. We are only now almost done tomorrow the trim goes up on the tub, we need to change the piping on the tub faucet and need to re-level the toilet but truthfully for what we've been through that's not much. 

The new floor got down before we left and we had glued up the sides of the shower but this was by no means a little job and it ended up being a big pain. We had to do the piping 4 times! And we had no water for 5 days in the house. By the way PEX does not work with pipe glue did you know that? We do now.

 Over all this turned out to be $1000 project but we have paid for some labor to be done just because Peter and I are so limited with time and sometimes the willpower to get things done.






This is our new bathroom:

Toliet is back and fresh coat of paint with the new floor.
 I was able to find a light set up like my old one so I just had to change the face plate. Nothing is yet on the walls here though that has changed now. We also changed the faucet.

Our new bathtub surround and faucet. 

I'm happy with my new bathroom. 

Now on to the Embarrassment part. 

Right before we left on vacation we found a bed bug! Now a friend of ours had had bed bugs but we had thought everyone was taking all the precautions not to spread them so before we left we tore the house apart and started spraying. When we got home from vacation we found yet another bed bug. In the end we found six of these bugs around our house and it was enough to prompt us to get pest control out here. On the 27th we will be heating up the house to 140 degrees or I should say the pest control service will so we are currently in the process of tearing apart the house once more to unclutter it, throw things away and to collect everything that may melt or explode or catch fire while the house is brought up to temp and kept there. We will not be able to return to our home for 8 hours and even then they warned us it may still be unbearably hot. It is hard to admit these bugs got into my home because while I'm disorganized I do try to keep things clean but the truth is it doesn't matter how clean or dirty you live they will like your blood no matter what. It has taken a chunk of our emergency fund and we no longer associate with that particular friend but I am just looking towards the future and us finally being able to get our lives back.